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Marvin Meyers on Unsplash

I had my first waxing today. Yes, I know I am a bit behind the wave. It never seemed necessary, for so many reasons.

For one, the hair on my body is generally so light that I have to draw on eyebrows, and only need to shave my legs once a week or so. Less in winter. So adding in a summer bikini line shave hasn’t been a big deal.

For two, many men in my generation prefer hair. I haven’t made a survey as to why, but it may be based on the magazine models they honed their libidos on having had hair. It was rare to find a pruned garden then, much less a bare one.

For three, I don’t actually base my grooming decisions on what men want. Besides, younger men prefer shaved, or even Brazilian waxed. Since I never know what age person I will date next, if I were going to try to please men, I would have to shave only half my pudenda, and try to stand sideways naked until we were in bed. Who knows, that might even become a thing.

The true reasons I did it now was to feel younger, and to wear bathing suits without having to worry about shaving. A couple of days ago I went to the pool. As I looked down on my body, there were two long hairs in unflattering areas around my bathing suit. Oops. And in very recent years I have noticed I had hair growing in a place it had never grown before, which I assume has to do with waning hormones due to aging. Whatever caused it, I don’t want those hairs.

So, I took a friend’s referral and visited ReWaxation. It is as small and funky as it sounds, housed in one of the rapidly disappearing, funkily painted older facades in Austin, Texas. I had heard there was wine, so I figured I could zone out a little and not react quite like Steve Carell in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” The zoning out didn’t happen, as I barely had time to gulp the wine when they called me in. They put me in the first room, with a cut out wall near the ceiling into the reception area. I told my waxer it probably wasn’t a good idea to put newbies in that room where others could hear us scream. She didn’t laugh. Fortunately, I didn’t scream.

I was surprised when they told me a “between the cheeks” wax would only take about 5 minutes. Mine took a little longer, because even though I had shaved too recently for them to do the whole Brazilian, the sweet attendant threw in some bonus waxing around the vulva area closest to between the cheeks. She also removed some hairs along my Caesarean scar that stubbornly resist shaving. The whole enchilada probably took a little over 10 minutes. I left a new woman. Or, I hope so. I have yet to try on the bathing suit and inspect for random hair. But based on the sharpness of the sensation as the hot wax is ripped off, I’m sure nothing could have survived.

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