After getting interrogated by this ostensibly superior human, you’ll likely get nervous and upset. Then the doctor, ever the wiseguy, will get cute and decide to take your blood pressure one last time, and when it registers high, he’ll diagnose you with hypertension. This pesky little diagnosis will, of course, be entered into your medical chart and you’ll be labeled anxious, lazy, and inactive from then on by every clinician you see, ever, despite being twenty-eight and in peak physical health, at least according to your FitBit.