To people you are dating.
I’m a single Mom, and have been since my son was born. I didn’t date until he was 18 months old, dated the same guy for four years from the time he was two, and then dated infrequently until he went to college. Here’s why.
Fairly new boyfriend sits on the couch keeping me company and entertaining the 18 month old while I write. Little Man (the baby, not the boyfriend), waddles over to the couch, takes his diaper off and pees on the fairly new boyfriend. The first shot was fired over the hull by a little guy who found a novel use for his penis.
My son was right, by the way. The fairly new boyfriend turned out to be a jerk.
He borrowed money he didn’t repay. He got mad at me for ordering a drink on his card when I was at the restaurant/bar picking up food for him! He told me I was too loud in the same bar. I ended it that same night.
Score one for my baby boy and his instincts. But he ran some guys off so quickly I never got to know if he was right or not. Or even for sure if he was doing it on purpose.
My car broke down on the freeway over thirty miles from home. As we waited for the tow truck in the blistering Texas heat, a man offered us a ride. He was as attractive as he was kind. A policeman had also stopped to check on us, and I made sure he had the man’s license information before accepting the ride.
On the way, I flirted with him, and he flirted back. From the back seat, my four year old said, “Tell him about the pills you take.” Birth control. Maybe you can see why.
He then asked several times, “Is Stephon gonna be there?” Stephon was a guy I was dating, but wasn’t sure about yet. The budding romance with the knight in shining armor wilted like a rose in a vase with no water.
My son’s instincts weren’t so good for a couple of guys. Stephon, the four year relationship, and my first husband, who I dated briefly when my son was ten years old. Stephon is half-Black, and my ex is White. My son adored them both. They both left us.
When I was seeing my ex, I reminded my son that he had always told me he didn’t want a White step-dad. He asked, “Has any Black man ever treated you right?” Tough to answer, even though the White ones didn’t win any dating awards either. Some Black men had treated me right, but things hadn’t worked out for various reasons. Makes me wonder how many guys he ran off without my knowing. I’ll probably never know. Maybe that’s a good thing.
He’s grown now and out of the house. Now’s your chance to ask me out! Quickly, before he moves back in.