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RELATIONSHIP REVOLUTION
Telling The Exes Goodbye, Even if Only in Your Head
How a sword set me free
Acamea Deadwiler wrote a powerful, spot on article called, “Closure is Overrated.” After reading it, I sent it to two of my clients who have been working on that very thing with me, and whom I hadn’t completely known how to help. I had long suffered from some of the same obsessions, fantasies and misconceptions she wrote about.
Sophia Dembling and I met years ago to collaborate on a book about this very thing. She was interested in why unrequited love haunts us. We didn’t do that book, though she has since quoted me in another about love. Hey Sophia Dembling, I’m ready now, thanks to Medium.
Tesia Blake wrote, “Why You Want to Be Friends With Your Ex.” Wow, did she ever get it right. She listed the underlying and subconscious negative reasons we try to remain friends with exes soon after the breakup.
In my case, that seeking after closure and friendship had gone on for decades. For one of my clients it was twelve years. Another had met her first love at age ten, and had an on and off relationship twenty and then again thirty years later, that left her confused and bewildered.