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Stop Making Dating So Hard
You know you want to.
Just so you know, I have no answers. So if you are looking for some, I apologize in advance. What I do have is observations and suggestions, and a personal story or two.
We are all subject to our emotions, which can be triggered by any number of things, some of which we are aware and some we are not. As self aware as I try to be, there are reactions I have to certain people on first or second or third dates that I have no explanation for, at least right away.
If I am drawn to you, that may be so even if we would not get along well long term. For instance, I am drawn to organized, buttoned-down guys at first, largely because I am the opposite. And opposites do attract, if only because we admire in others what we wish for in ourselves. It’s called an Imago, which is partly seeing our shadow side, as in a fun house mirror. In like manner, buttoned-down types are drawn to my free spirited, unpredictable ways, and my effervescent personality. Until they aren’t.
When that time comes, they want to change me or “help” me. Never mind that I have been me a really long time and am generally happy with who I am. Sometimes I am glad for the help. One guy would make my bed, and since my love language is acts of service, I didn’t take that as a criticism (even though it probably was one). It felt and looked nice.
