“If You Don’t Have A Black Friend…

you are part of the problem” — Wanda Sykes

Emma Tin on Unsplash

A confluence of inspirations came together for me recently. Marley K. asked me to write of my experiences immersing myself into the Black community. And then, I watched the Wanda Sykes Neflix special where she talks about race relations in America, and how we finally must resolve our issues to prevent a repeat of the current resurgence of racism. She says, “If you don’t have a Black friend, you are part of the problem.”

Marley K. describes perfectly the feelings Black people have in America, always having to be the ones to assimilate and “keep White people calm.” This squelching of personality and culture keep White people from experiencing and understanding Black people on the deepest level. If you are White and have a Black “friend,” but have never been to their home, you don’t really have a Black friend. And if you never go anywhere with your Black friend where you are the minority, or the only white person, you will never understand the Black experience, or the anxiety they deal with on a daily basis in the majority white culture.

I grew up in an all-white, small Texas town. I was saved from total unawareness of other ethnicities and my privileged ignorance by my church, which is strange since Sunday church services are still one of the most segregated hours…