Now we just have to get his car out of impound in L.A. — I have a tattoo on my arm that says, “I told Blake.” It is a not-so-subtle way to say to my son, “I told you so,” 24/7, without having to actually say it. I don’t get to say it out loud to him often, now that he’s 6'5" with long…

Yes I’m metaphysical, but what are you? — One night in a dream one of my spirit guides came to me. His name is George. No, I don’t know why his name is George. He just looks like a George. That isn’t important. Pay attention. What’s important is that George said to me, “You don’t have to work…

Owning who you are — “You’ll be so eccentric when you’re old,” my friend said to me. “WHAT? She’s already eccentric!” my sister interjected. It was true those however many years ago, and it’s true now that I’m old(er). Feel free to use “weird” as interchangeable with “eccentric” when referring to me. How do you know you’re weird? No, really, how…

Writers’ Stalk Newsletter #10 Our detective agency motto is “We will find you!” It’s another lousy day in the paradise we call the Big City. If paradise had sidewalks that smell like piss, with bums bumping against you on every corner. Speaking of bums, there’s a hot tomato sitting next to me at the bar. She’s an able grable from the neck up…

And it better be funny or I’m out — To paraphrase Carl Reiner, “Every morning I read the obituaries before breakfast. If I’m not in them, I eat breakfast.” That’s me, except I don’t read the obituaries. First, because the older I get the younger those who’ve died from old age seem to be. The other is, if I…

And it’s starting to feel like stalking — I have two favorite restaurants in Austin: Loro and Hop Doddy. While I prefer fine dining when I can get it — as in when someone takes me on a date or it’s my birthday— these two check all the other boxes. Servers who treat me — a regular —…

Don’t start with me — Don’t even start. I hear all you Apple folks and other techy people saying, “Why on earth do you have two Apple IDs? You are only ever supposed to have one to last you your whole life!” Kind of like having just one soul. Yeah, I know. But nobody told…

I am forever indebted — I’m a white woman, and was a young white teen when the Civil Rights Movement was at its peak. I grew up in an all-white town. I know the movement wasn’t for me, but it changed my life anyway. I learned of the movement through my church. Youth ministers I…

It’s not the same as throwing pearls before swine, but close — As my friend’s husband was making a dramatic exit from their bedroom during an argument, she reached into her bedside table drawer, grabbed the first thing she could find, and threw it at him. Her dildo. He ducked, it hit the door. He turned and looked at her as if…